Later Is a Lie

Hi there,

There’s a yoga mat in the corner of my living room that hasn’t seen the light of day in months. It’s not even rolled up anymore, it’s just slumped sadly over a chair like it’s given up on me.

Every few weeks, I tell myself I’ll get into my morning routine:
- Maybe next week when things calm down.
- After this project wraps.
- Once I have more energy.

But if I’m being honest, I’m not waiting for the right time.

I’m waiting for a different version of me. I call her “Future Me” who somehow has more time, more motivation, more discipline.

… except she doesn’t exist.

Future Me is just as tired, just as stretched, just as distracted as Present Me.

And every time I tell myself “later,” I’m really saying “never.”

Why we defer

I have a friend. Let’s call her Sara, she’s a brilliant, successful dentist. She’s been talking for years about starting her own practice.

She’s done the research; scouted locations, and talked to consultants who charge more than most cars.

Every time I see her, she says she’s “almost ready.” She swears that she’ll make a move once she has one more conversation. Or looks over one last spreadsheet.

But the truth is, she’s not waiting for more data. She’s waiting for certainty.
And certainty never comes.

Truth be told, she’s not stuck because she’s lazy. She’s stuck because she’s smart.
Smart enough to know that once she commits, she can fail.

So she stays in motion without ever moving, busy enough to feel productive, cautious enough to stay safe.

That’s why we defer. We’re not buying time. We’re buying the illusion of control. We’d rather circle the runway forever than face the turbulence of takeoff.

We call it “buying time.” But really, we’re buying temporary relief from doubt. She’s caught in the same loop we all are: the illusion that deferring is safer than deciding.

The trap of indecision

We like to believe that indecision keeps our options open.

But it doesn’t. It just keeps us stuck.

Saying “I’ll decide later” feels like buying time, but really it’s spending energy on the same decision over and over again.

Every time you revisit it, you pay a hidden tax. The tax costs us mental clutter, self-doubt, and the quiet hum of time anxiety and guilt that you can’t quite shake.

Indecision is a decision.

It’s choosing uncertainty over clarity.

And it’s choosing to let time make the choice for you.

The emotional lie of “later”

We tell ourselves we’ll do it when we’re ready.

But being ready isn’t a feeling.
Being ready is a decision.

You don’t get ready, then act.

You act, then realize you were ready all along. From my days of stepping into courtrooms, under intense pressure, and facing the fear of public speaking, I’ve learned that courage comes before confidence. Confidence comes later. Much later, after you do the reps.

But deferral gives us the quiet comfort of identity without the risk of change.

Sara still gets to be “the kind of person who’s going to open her own practice.”
I still get to be “the kind of person who does yoga.”

We get the illusion of growth without the discomfort of it.

But here’s the truth we avoid: every deferral is a decision.

It’s just one we don’t own.

The binary cure

I started experimenting with a simple rule: Decide or Delete.

Whenever I catch myself saying, “I’ll do it soon,” I force a binary choice.

• 1. Decide: If it matters, act on it within three days.

  - Book the class. Send the email. Make the call.

  - Imperfect movement is still movement.

• 2. Delete: If I’m not going to do it, I say it out loud.

  - “I’m not doing this.” Then I remove it from my mental space.

No middle ground. No “maybe next week.”

It’s wild how much peace this brings. Once the yoga mat stopped representing potential, it became just… a mat. Neutral. Silent. Done. No lagging guilt.

READER POLL

The hard part isn’t organizing your life. It’s being honest about what’s actually worth doing.

Most of us don’t need more motivation. We need more truth.

-Truth about what we actually want.
- Truth about what we’re never going to do.
- Truth about what “later” really costs.

Every “maybe” in your life takes up space where a “yes” could live.

So this week, try this:

List three things you’ve been deferring for more than 3 months.
For each one, make a binary choice: Decide or Delete.

Because “later” isn’t neutral.
It’s a quiet kind of decay.

Final Thought

Future You isn’t coming to save you.
She or he’s just as busy, just as scared, and just as human as you are now.

So stop outsourcing your courage to them.
Do it now or let it go.

The space between “now” and “later” is where dreams quietly go to die.

Reality doesn’t reward hesitation. It rewards momentum. Get moving.

There’s no magic in later.

Present You holds all the magic.

See you next week,

Shakila

P.S. Here’s the results of last week’s poll.