Time, Anxiety, & the Battle for Enough

Hey there,

You walk into a party and immediately you hear someone saying, “I just closed Series B funding for my startup.”

Another chimes in, “Our kid just got into the school of his dreams.”

A third is showing pictures of their honeymoon in Italy.

Meanwhile, you're standing there thinking, “Should I mention I finally figured out how to fold a fitted sheet?”

The gap between where you are and where you think you should be feels like a chasm.

And it’s staring at you over a pile of pretzels and an air kiss that whispers, “You’ll never catch up.”

The Quiet Tyrant

It’s a familiar feeling—anxiety. It’s not just the gnawing pit in your stomach. It’s that sneaky, incessant whisper that tells you “it’s too late.”

– Too late to reinvent yourself.
– Too late to start a business.
– Too late to start a family or a relationship.
– Too late to publish a book or learn a new language.
… too late to show up as the person you always thought you'd become.

This kind of anxiety is quiet, but eerily persistent.

Like a leaky faucet in a horror movie—drip by drip, sapping your confidence and filling you with a vague unease.

This constant buzz in the background of our daily lives shows up in different ways:

• Present - (Daily) Time Anxiety: That relentless feeling of being rushed, as if you’re always behind schedule.

• Past - (Yesterday) Time Anxiety: Constant anxiety of what happened or what if it hadn’t happened the way it did.

• Future - (Tomorrow) Time Anxiety: The worry about what might happen—or what might never happen.

• Existential Time Anxiety: The heavy realization that sneaks up in the quiet hours, making you feel like your entire life is slipping through your fingers

Whatever the form, it boils down to: Am I doing enough?

Enough to be happy, enough to make a difference, enough to matter.

The Anxiety Spiral

It starts with one innocent comment a friend makes.

And the next thing you know, you are stalking people on social media and see that Sara just bought her third rental property.

And Kevin and his six-pack abs seem to be gaining 10k new followers every time he sneezes.

Suddenly, you’re knee-deep in Googling: how to make passive income while doing crunches.

You start mapping out plans for a side hustle, a better workout plan, a color-coded calendar. Or (if you’re like me)– you don’t even bother and just crash head on into a wall of despair, doom, and gloom.

Quite literally, you flood your body with overwhelm. You eat, you shop, you drink, you binge out on Netflix– all to numb out the feeling.

But guess what?

The anxiety returns, now with an added garnish of guilt. Why? Because not only do you see how dismal of a failure you are, but you’ve convinced yourself you’re so behind there’s no point in even trying.

Sound familiar?

The Myth of the Life Timeline 

Anxiety isn’t just a symptom of modern life—it’s a story we’ve bought into.

Society loves timelines.

By 30, you should have a house and a spouse.

By 40, kids and a successful career.

By 50, a stable retirement plan.

But who made this blueprint? And why does it hold so much power over us?

The reality is, this one-size-fits-all narrative isn’t universal truth.

They’re arbitrary expectations stitched together by culture, capitalism, and convention.

What if the real reason you feel “behind” isn’t because you are—but because you’re measuring yourself against a yardstick that was never yours to begin with?

Progress Isn't Linear—It's Layered

That same conventional wisdom tells us success is a ladder: one step at a time, up, up, up. But success isn’t linear—it’s layered.

Let’s borrow from Malcolm Gladwell. In his book Outliers: The Story of Success, he talks about how the Beatles performed live in Germany, over 1,200 times before anyone cared.

Or consider Stephen King who received so many rejection slips for his short stories that he started pinning them on a nail, which eventually couldn’t hold the weight.

Or George Clooney and Sheryl Sandberg who got married well into their 50s.

The takeaway is that progress has it’s own timing. Not some clear cut path to perfection.

Beating Time Anxiety: A Practical Approach

I’ve only recently managed to get this tyrant in check. It’s still a daily struggle. But here’s a method I came up with to SNAP me out of it:

S - Stop the spiral – When you feel yourself slipping into the “not enough” mindset, pause. Recognize the thoughts pulling you into overthinking or comparison—and literally stop. 

Change your environment: walk into another room, drink water, or go outside. Awareness is the first step to breaking the spiral.

N - Neutralize the flight/flight/freeze response – Calm your body’s fear response. Try this technique. (only 46 seconds… it’s an absolute game changer!)

Thoughts and emotions aren’t facts—they’re feedback.

What you’re experiencing is a signal that your body wants you to take action to bring it back to safety. So recognize it as that and reassure it that you’re safe.

A - Act – Action is the antidote to anxiety.

Action cures fear. Inaction and avoidance fuels it.

Numbing is comforting. But realize that the thing that gives us immediate relief from the fear in the short-term will feed it in the long-term. Fear is part of growth, so face it head-on.

Act before you’re ready. Act even with fear. Courage comes before confidence.

Take one small step—no matter how imperfect—to build momentum. Tiny, consistent actions lead to big changes.

P - Prioritize progress over perfection – Waiting for the “perfect” plan or finding the “right” answer only keeps you stuck. Prioritize doing over doubting.

Focus on forward motion, not flawless execution. Small steps taken today will outpace endless planning tomorrow.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my own battles with anxiety: You don’t have to fight it alone. Anxiety thrives in isolation but withers in action and connection.

When I launched Shifting Focus, I was riddled with self-doubt. “Who am I to write this?” “What if no one cares?”

But then I realized: My voice doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be real.

Even if it’s not for everyone, it might be exactly what one person needs to hear. And that makes every doubt, every misstep, and every effort completely worth it.

So next time you catch yourself spiraling into “not enoughness,” SNAP yourself out of it.

Because life isn’t a race, a ladder, or even a timeline. It’s a series of small choices.

As Maria Edgeworth once said, “If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.”

Anyway, I hope there was something in here that might’ve been kinda useful for your own work and/or life.

Until next time, friends.

Keep shifting your focus,

Shakila

p.s. Give SNAP a try. And hit reply to lmk how it went—I’d love to celebrate your wins, big or small.

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