Why Self-Discipline is Overrated

Hey there,

Let me tell you a secret that took me years and quite a few failed attempts at self-improvement to figure out:

It’s not you. It’s your environment.

Not the most flattering news, I know. We like to think we’re strong-willed, self-aware, totally in control of our behavior. But science says otherwise, and if we’re honest, so do our results.

Whether you’re trying to eat better, scroll less, move more, write regularly, sleep earlier, or just stop being a hot mess every Monday morning… the real leverage point isn’t hidden in your brain.

It’s hiding in plain sight. Right in front of you.

Your environment is quietly shaping every decision you make.

The Willpower Myth

We’ve all been sold a lie, and it sounds like this:

• “If you just tried harder…”

• “If you were more disciplined…”

• “If you really wanted it, you’d do it.”

This is the narrative we turn inward when we fall short. The self-help world calls it “accountability.” I call it a trap.

Because the truth is: willpower is a finite resource. And relying on it is like trying to row a boat upstream with a spoon.

According to Dr. Wendy Wood, author of , a whopping 43% of our daily actions are driven by habit, not conscious decision-making. That means almost half of what you do every day is on autopilot, triggered by your surroundings.

We don’t rise to the level of our goals.

We fall to the level of our environment.

Personal Proof: How I Gained 10 Pounds in 10 Days

I grew up in a family where “healthy eating” meant skipping dessert… once a week. Our fridge was a processed food wonderland, and social gatherings revolved around lots and lots of food.

As an adult, I thought I’d left those habits behind… until I visited my family for two weeks and gained almost 10 pounds. No joke.

I didn’t suddenly lose all motivation. I didn’t forget how to eat well. I was just surrounded by a different default:

• No healthy snacks in sight

• Social pressure to eat what everyone else was eating

• Zero cues to support my usual habits

That’s when it hit me: My habits are only as good as the environment they are built in. And I was clearly adapting to the environment around me.

So instead of beating myself up, I started making changes outside of myself. And everything shifted.

Don’t Change Yourself. Change Your Social Cues.

Here’s how you can do the same.

1. Make Good Habits Easy

— Want to drink more water? Put a glass next to your bed or a water bottle on your desk.
— Want to read more? Leave the book open on your pillow.
— Want to journal? Keep the notebook visible, not buried under yesterday’s mail.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, tells a great story about a reader who wanted to play more guitar. His trick? He stopped keeping it in the closet. He placed it in the middle of the living room.

That one tiny environmental cue changed everything.

I’ve personally used this trick with writing. For years, I struggled with writer’s block, not because I didn’t want to write, but because I treated it like this massive event I had to gear up for.

Now? I leave a draft open on my screen. I tell myself to just write five sentences. And 90% of the time, I end up writing a few pages. The micro-commitment is the key.

2. Make Bad Habits Hard

This might be the most powerful (and underrated) strategy of all.

If you want to stop doing something, don’t just rely on grit. Put a speed bump in front of the behavior.

• Move your phone charger to another room to stop doom scrolling in bed.

• Log out of social media apps and delete saved passwords.

• Move junk food out of reach (or out of your house completely).

My grandmother was obsessed with sweets. She couldn’t resist cookies, even after a diabetes scare. Nothing we said worked. So one day, we put all her sugary snacks on top of the fridge, out of reach.

To get to them, she’d have to climb on a chair. Which, for a 4’11” woman in her seventies… wasn’t going to happen. The cookies stayed put. And so did her blood sugar.

Behavior often follows the path of least resistance. So make the bad habits harder to access. Your future self will thank you.

3. Think Small. Like, Ridiculously Small.

Let’s talk about momentum.

BJ Fogg, a Stanford researcher and one of the leading experts in behavior design, swears by a hilarious but genius tip:

If you want to start flossing… just floss one tooth.

One.

Because once you floss one, you’re likely to floss them all.

You’re lowering the barrier to entry. Creating a win so small your brain can’t say no.

So if you want to:

• Start meditating → Sit still and breathe for 30 seconds.

• Start exercising → Just put on your gym clothes.

• Start decluttering → Tidy one drawer.

• Start writing → Commit to five sentences.

It sounds silly. But silly works. And it builds something better than discipline: momentum.

Final Thought: Set Yourself Up to Win

You don’t need to change who you are. You need to change what’s around you.

This week, take inventory:

• What in your environment is helping you?

• What’s getting in your way?

• What’s one small tweak that could shift the trajectory?

Maybe it’s clearing your desk. Putting your phone in another room. Prepping veggies ahead of time. Leaving your sneakers by the door.

These aren’t hacks. They’re leverage points. And they work.

So go ahead: move the cues, not the mountain.

See you next week,

Shakila

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