Why Less Talented People Succeed Faster

Hi there,

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in a coffeeshop, earbuds in, pretending to work, when I overheard a guy in his late twenties interviewing for a job on Zoom.

He was terrible.

He kept losing his train of thought. His voice cracked and he couldn’t finish his sentences. At one point he forgot the interviewer’s name.

I braced myself. Secondhand embarrassment is my least favorite emotion.

But he didn’t flinch. He actually laughed and said, “Hold on, sorry, I blanked. Anyway…” And kept going.

And I sat there thinking: If that had been me, I would have relocated to another country and never shown my face here again.

And in that moment, I realized something uncomfortable:
He wasn’t confident. He was just unfazed by looking stupid.
His embarrassment threshold was miles higher than mine.

And that’s exactly where people like me fall apart.

The overachievers, the perfectionists, the ones who triple-check everything, we’ve trained our entire lives to avoid that feeling.

We’re excellent at excellence. We’re terrible at being beginners.

And that’s the trap: Our competence becomes a cage.

The Quiet Emotion That Runs Your Life More Than Fear

Here’s the truth we don’t like to admit: It’s not fear that holds us back, it’s embarrassment.

Fear is loud. You know when you’re afraid.

Embarrassment is quiet. It’s more subtle and slips under the radar.

Embarrassment makes you hesitate.
Embarrassment makes you overthink.
Embarrassment makes you wait an extra six months “until you’re ready.”

Most people don’t put things off because they’re unprepared.

They put things off because they can’t stand the idea of someone watching them struggle.

The guy in the coffeeshop will likely get more opportunities in life not because he’s more talented, but because he doesn’t hideaway at the possibility of humiliation.

The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Embarrassment

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I act when I try something new.

Whenever I start a project, my first instinct is to hide it until it’s polished and perfected.

But the expensive truth is that avoidance of embarrassment costs more opportunities than failure ever will.

Failure gives you information. Failure moves you forward.

Embarrassment just makes you retreat.

You’ll abandon things because someone might laugh, or misunderstand you, or think you’re trying too hard and say, “Who does she think she is?”

But people already think whatever they think. Your shrinking and your silence won’t sanitize their opinions.

And trust me, if embarrassment could kill us, middle school would’ve wiped out half of humanity.

The ‘One Day’ Illusion

I live across the street from a graveyard, and I take walks there on purpose. It reminds me that most of the people buried there probably thought they had more time to live their “one day” life.

• People who had every intention to start the business “one day.”

• Write the book “one day.”

• Leave the bad relationship “one day.”

• Take the risk “one day.”

“One day” is just a more socially acceptable way of saying: “I’m afraid to look foolish.”

If the twenty-something kid in the coffeeshop had waited until he was smooth, polished, and impressive, he would’ve never applied for that job at all.

That guy wasn’t polished. He wasn’t impressive. But he was willing to risk the heat in his face

He got further by being imperfect than most people get by smooth, polished, and perfected.

Most adults would rather be invisible than uncomfortable.

Two Questions for the Week

This week, sit with these:

1. What are you avoiding right now because you're afraid to look stupid?
2. Who are you imagining in the audience when you hesitate?

Sit with your answers. They will tell you more about your life than any therapist, coach, or personality test ever could.

READER POLL

Final Thought

This week, do one thing that exposes you to even a flicker of embarrassment:

• Ask the “dumb” question.
• Post the unpolished idea.
• Make the request you’ve been avoiding.
• Try the skill you're not good at yet.

Let the discomfort rise.
Let your ego take a tiny hit.
Let it pass and move through you.
Let yourself survive it.

Your life doesn’t need more confidence; it needs a higher embarrassment tolerance.

And when you try something this week, reply and tell me.

I read every message!

See you next week,

Shakila

P.S. Here’s the results of last week’s poll.