Life’s Biggest Secret: It's All a Paradox

Hey there,

To honor the holiday season—a time of connection, reflection, and gratitude—the newsletter is short today so you can enjoy time with friends and family.

Consider this a 1-Minute Shift!

How Do You See the World?

Let’s start with this. Take a look. What do you see?

Do you see an old lady or a young girl?

. . .

Answer: It’s an old lady AND a young girl. 

If you can’t see BOTH, don’t worry you’re not alone.

Most people only see one or the other. Keep reading and I’ll show you how to see both.

Why We Love Simple Black/White Answers

As humans, we crave clear-cut answers, black-and-white certainties. 

We like EITHER/OR. (Either this. Or that.)

Not so much BOTH/AND. (Both this and that.)

Why? 

Neurologically speaking, it’s about cognitive load. 

EITHER/OR black-and-white answers light up our reward systems—they’re simple, satisfying, and feel like we’ve “solved” something. 

BOTH/AND thinking, on the other hand, requires the prefrontal cortex to do some heavy lifting: hold two ideas at once, weigh nuance, tolerate ambiguity… all the stuff our brains love to avoid.

Plus, evolution didn’t help. 

Back in the day, EITHER/OR was survival. “Is that a tiger or a bush?” was a pretty binary question, and the people who stopped to consider BOTH/AND got eaten.

Where Opposites Meet

Yet, truths in life often live in paradox and contradiction.

Life’s magic and wisdom reveals itself in the spaces between opposites—where giving and receiving, holding and releasing, and joy and sorrow coexist. 

What’s more is what is true in one moment may shift in the next, and learning to embrace this paradox is what brings balance and meaning to our lives.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

In a complex and divisive world, it’s tempting to cling to black-and-white thinking—this OR that, right OR wrong, us OR them. But the truth is that life’s answers are often gray, where contradictions connect and opposites overlap.

It’s here we can see connections and the answers to some of life’s biggest questions.

It’s where we see a bigger picture.

Your focus shapes your reality.
Shift it.

That’s it for today.

Cherish your loved ones,

Shakila

p.s. Here’s how to see both:

A reminder that reality is nuanced and multi-layered.