Excuses vs. Reasons: The Subtle Difference That Shapes Your Life

Hi there,

Lately I’ve realized something: most of the “reasons” people give are really just excuses wearing nice clothes.

We convince ourselves that our reasons are logical and rational. The real why behind what we do or don’t do. But if you strip them down to the studs, they’re often just dressed-up excuses.

Take my sister. She didn’t want to go on a family vacation.
Her reason? “My two-year-old will be too much of a hassle on the flight.”
Sounds legit and perfectly reasonable.

But is it really true? A two-hour flight with a toddler isn’t fun, but it’s survivable. I’ve seen babies melt down on long hauls across the globe and planes still land. I’ve also seen parents hike some breathtaking mountain peaks with toddlers on their backs. 

Same parents, same babies, different “reasons” for molding a life. 

The truth with my sister was simpler: she just didn’t want to go.

That’s what our “reasons” do. They protect us. They save us from the harder conversations, from admitting what we actually want, from leaving our comfort zone and staying small.

Excuses Cut Both Ways

The thing about our “reasons” is they work both ways. They can be positive or negative.
I wake up tired and tell myself:
“I’m too tired to work out.”
Feels valid.

My trainer wakes up tired and says:
“I feel sluggish, better get moving.”
Also valid.

Same situation. Two different excuses.

Excuses are clay. You can shape them into something that holds you back, or something that pushes you forward.

I once heard someone put it like this: villains and heroes live through the same origin story. Pain. Villain says: the world hurt me, so I’ll hurt it back. Hero says: the world hurt me, so I won’t let it hurt others. They have the same script but each has a different permission slip.

Life will hand us all tragedies, losses, and inconveniences. Each one can be a permission slip to go beyond… or to stay small.

Quitting vs. Becoming

I heard a podcast with Mike Posner (the guy who wrote “I Took A Pill In Ibiza” song) which gave me the clearest picture of this. After his friend Avicii died, he walked across America as a way of saying, “life is short.” He made it two-thirds of the way before a rattlesnake nearly killed him. He was hospitalized and told he might lose his leg. If he had decided to quit, no one would’ve expected anything different. 

But once he could walk again, he went straight back to the exact spot he was bitten and finished.

Because that moment wasn’t about walking. It was about who he was choosing to become.

Final Thought

That’s the quiet truth nobody tells you:
“Reasons” don’t exist. Only excuses.
And excuses are elastic, you can stretch them toward collapse or toward expansion.

So next time you catch yourself holding one, ask:
Is this permission to shrink?
Or permission to expand?

Because once you see them for what they are, you get to decide:
Will this excuse keep me small?
Or will it push me forward?

So now I ask myself: is this really a reason? Or just an excuse I’ve polished until it looks presentable?

The reasons we give for why we do or don’t do things are always worth a second look.

As Eric Hoffer said, the loudest lies we tell are to ourselves. 

See you next week,

Shakila

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